Table Grating for Brainiacs

Einstein's brain was 15% wider than average.

David has quite a big head.

Einstein never wore socks because they would get holes in them.

David loves to run around barefoot.

Einstein is believed to have suffered from Asperger's Syndrome, which is an autism spectrum disorder that is characterized by a reluctance to listen, social skill deficits, and demonstrating odd behaviors.

David still refuses to grasp the concept of 'no', he continues to ask all of our heavy-set friends if they are pregnant, and today I caught him cheese-grating our table.

'Holy shit, Angie - Davey's a freakin' genius!'

Free Fallin'

Normal humans walk down steps. Angie apparently found this too boring for cool and risked life and limb to spice things up.

As she tumbled down the stairway to pain, headfirst and carrying Tom, I'm sure one thought occurred to her: 'Hey, cool! Shoes on sale on isle 5'.

Somehow, Angelina the step ballerina managed to topple down the entire flight of stairs without dropping Tom on his head. Move over Heisman.

Did anyone help her as she lay crumpled on the ground at the bottom of the steps? Maybe the long-haired guy who was walking directly behind her before her tragic fall? No, Fabio just stood there, rolling his eyes at the newly formed obstacle in his urgent rush to get home to his oversized mirror.

Angie groaned and caught a glimpse of her mom, who was busy helping the boys refill their drinks at Kentucky Fried Chicken. Mmmm...dinner and a show.

'Mom? .... Mom? Uh, hello? ...Hey Mom! Over here! Could use a little help here, Mom!'

Judy was oblivious to her first born's pleas for help as she explained to David for the 5th time that 'No, you cannot have Coke.'

Eventually the Indian manager came over and helped Angie up.

'I don't speak German - do you speak English?'

'You do realize we're in Germany?'

'Are you okay?'

'Yes.'

With that one word answer, Angie blew a perfect opportunity to have a little fun with the non-German speaking manager.

'I don't think I should answer that without my lawyer present' or 'a new pair of shoes would sure help make my swollen foot feel a lot better' or 'I see dead people'. Anything but 'yes'.

It's too bad I'm not a clumsy klutz; I could have really had some fun.